These past few years, God has taught me a wonderful lesson of humility and what it means to be a servant of Christ. Starting in seminary, our experience at church together was difficult. It began after noticing that congregation members were instantly drawn to my husband, Mikey. I quickly felt like I was living in his shadow and Mikey was all anyone would want to talk to me about. In fact, I was consistently told by many, many people how amazing Mikey is and the many things they love about him.

I didn’t feel that I mattered there at all and withdrew. Women in the congregation felt as though I didn’t want to get to know them. This caused tension between myself and my husband because although he tried, he didn’t understand.

During that time, a conversation we had on a drive home from church sticks out in my mind as a time of mutual understanding. I shared with Mikey how I left church every week feeling like no one knew me or cared to get to know me. Mikey explained, “People don’t really know me either. They don’t know how many siblings I have or what I like to do for fun. They like me because I’m their pastor.” His words helped me to realize that he knows this and is okay with it. He isn’t there to talk about himself, but to serve. And because we are a team, that is what I’m there for, too.

God chipped away at my self-pity mindset and pushed aside the bitterness of feeling that I may not be as loved or revered as my husband in this setting. I began the process of finding my value in God, not other people, and focusing on being happy that my husband is well-liked and trusted, no matter how someone may feel about me. Since then, I have navigated how to build relationships on my own time while still being my genuine self. I have a long ways to go and a lot to learn to selflessly serve in my role, but thankfully, I have a lot of time and many mentors to help me.

Madi Meester and her husband, Mikey, served on internship at Our Savior’s in Stanley, ND.